The next big thing

Who the hell gets a tumor anyways?  For those who have known me for any amount of time, I know what you're thinking..."that's a big piece to the puzzle".  Maybe it's the only piece.

Before I continue, how about that Jen Patching for setting this thing up!  Cool layout, cool graphics, dark sense of humor.  Homer's tiny brain, and one of the best examples of Phish's legendary "tension and release" style of live mayhem.

Let's bring everyone up to speed.  This essentially started on Saturday April 6 up in French Canadia.  Montreal is an amazing city.  I was looking through stacks of used CDs at Melodisc in Montreal.  Gn'R Lies was playing and I was singing along to "You're Crazy".  The clerk noticed and we went on to nerd out to rock music before it got all indie, then later hipster-y.  Gn'R earned their place in rock legend.  What the hell happened?  I grabbed a copy of "Lies" (only $7.99 Canadian), and then a copy of Digital Underground's "Sex Packets" caught my eye.  Next thing I know, I'm feeling light-headed, like a head rush when you stand up real quick.  I went over to Jen and said something to the effect of "I think I'm going to pass out, you's better hold on to me".  There was a ringing in my ears, and my voice sounded distant and echo-y.  So did her's for that matter, as well as the music in the shop.

Next thing I remember, I come to in the back of an ambulance with a couple of smart-assed EMTs fussing over me and asking questions.  Long story short, within a couple of hours, I felt basically back to normal.  Seems I had a seizure of some sort.  We drove back down to the States that night, and I arranged to see a Doctor (physician's assistant, actually) first thing Monday morning down in Keene.  Thanks to the quick work and concern of PA Dona Kilgore and the nurse in Keene (Joanne, sorry I can't remember her last name), I was in Saranac Lake the following friday for what turned out to be the first of three MRIs.  I think that's close to $15,000 worth of pictures of my brain.  Seems a bit excessive considering it was my brain!

In the waiting room after the initial MRI, the receptionist put me on the phone with Dona who said I'd better head over to Fletcher Allen in Burlington on the double.  Sort of ominous, right?

I spent the night of friday, April 12 at Fletcher Allen, and after a late friday night MRI and a Saturday morning CT Scan, I was set loose.

Back at Fletcher Allen on Thursday April 18, I had an early appointment for a "functional" MRI.  This is where they made me do stuff with my hands and fingers and face while radiologists watched the monitors.  I could probably do a better job explaining what all was going on, but I think I fell asleep in class the day they taught us MRIs at SUNY Brockport back in '92 or so.

So that brings us up to about now.  I have another meeting with the neurosurgeons and neurologists in a week, and as far as I know, on or about May first they'll crack open the old skull and pull the offending "mass" out.  At that point, a determination will be made whether the tumor is benign or the bad kind.  If it's the latter, then it'll probably be on to radiation treatment and what ever comes after that.

I'm not upset.  I'm not even really scared.  I might be a little concerned as I'm being wheeled into the OR, but really, why worry?  The morphine will help with that.  The thing is in there, and it's coming out.  That's what's going down.  What really grinds my gears is that this is going to severely cut into my mountain biking time, and even more crucial, my drinking "hobby".

I have it easy, really.  You guys are the ones who have to sweat this out.  That's why Jen dreamed this blog up, with the advice of Lifeboy himself.  He knows who he is, and so do some of you.  He'll be all over this thing because of it's Simpsons/Lebowski/Phishy overtones.  Our hope is that you'll all participate with the usual insults and whatnot that goes along with being associated with me.  The thing to remember here is that the Carpet Pissers had nothing to do with this!  Stay tuned....